Duck and cover!

Sure, we may have had snow days, heat days or run of the mill holidays, but did we have NINJA DAYS???

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/06/ninja-sighting-shuts-down_n_117348.html

Kudos to school officials for even HAVING a policy in place to deal with ninja sightings. When questioned about it, the principal said, "we have numerous similar policies in place for sasquatches, pirates, zombies, and the like. For example, our "Swamp Monster" protocol involves having the kids and their talking dog pull a rubber mask off a crooked land developer's head, after 20 minutes of running round suspecting the creepy old caretaker of scaring the townsfolk. Sometimes we call Don Knotts or the Harlem Globetrotters to help, if they are available." He then proceeded to laugh as a scruffy teenager compressed a 2-foot-high dagwood sandwich into an inch-and-a-half, which hilariously re-expanded in the teen's throat after it was gulped in a single bite.

Man, school nowadays is just awesome. I never once got attacked by a ninja or had a hot teacher want to sleep with me. It makes me wish for puberty all over again.

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

Is this thing even on?